watercolor

Two Sun Rises

Like a deer, I rarely slept in a predictable place. I rarely knew myself where I would sleep much sooner than when I felt tired. I had turned finding sleeping places into an art form. I slept on roofs, in fields, and just about anywhere that I felt I would not be discovered.

I had discovered an exceptionally good spot in the parking area of a condominium complex. Each parking space had a corresponding storage cabinet built into the garage wall. Each one was big enough to stretch out completely with room to spare. They were off the ground and nearly every one of them was empty, no one used them because they simply were not secure enough to keep anything of value there. That made them perfect for me. I slept in them from time to time when I was in that area.

On one particular night I was sleeping in one of these storage cabinets.

Earlier that evening I had strayed from a two-year vegetarian diet, by eating two hamburgers, they were not digesting well in my stomach, I had awakened a short while after sleeping with belly cramps. I did not think that sleep was going to happen for me this night. I had learned to take responsibility for my actions, so without regret I lay in the dark thinking,

Suddenly I was aware of an urge to walk. Obeying that urge, I got up and started walking. As I walked, I felt much better. Gradually my walk became a somewhat meditative state, and for no reason that I knew, I headed east. I didn’t have a destination in mind. I was involved for the moment in the act of walking and breathing. I found this sort of trance like walking to be a good way to empty my thoughts and clear my mind. I would often walk in such a manor, and walk great distances, a hundred-mile walk was not rare for me. It was like fertilizer for my soul. Walking rested my mind. and enhanced my relationship with intent.

On this particular night the sky was clear, the temperature was comfortable, the time was unknown to me, and I continued unhurried, walking east as the night’s darkness gradually became morning light.

At the exact moment the sun was rising over the horizon, two figures passed between me and the son. They actually eclipsed it. A woman and a young girl. The woman had a large bundle over her shoulder and the girl had a small backpack and a skateboard under one arm.

Upon seeing them I felt a sort of reverse de JA vu. I often got that feeling in my life when something unusual is about to happen, as opposed to something is happening again. like a future memory sent back. They were both dressed in white cotton robes of the sort seen in foreign desserts.

I was already experienced in recognizing and analyzing the feelings associated with intuition, and their variations. I paid conscious attention them in an attempt to make guided information available to my decision-making process. I was learning to recognize when something “is meant to be”. The moment I saw them I knew that, not only did our paths cross but also that, they would be somehow tied together, , I got that “here we go” feeling.

I approached them and I asked satirically, “you on the road? “Yes, we are headed south.

   We struck up a conversation. I found out they were heading south to Mexico or beyond, but their immediate goal was to locate a natural food store where unsprayed organic food was available, I knew where one was and offered to walk there with them.

We three walked the several miles in relative silence, but the store was not yet open, and we sat out in front of it and talked.

The woman had braided hair, long as if never cut and a bandanna as a headband.

The child appeared tired yet, strong.

The woman's name was “Sky blue”, not “Blue Sky,” she made sure I was aware of the difference and the girl, her daughter, was called Melody.

Melody was a simply beautiful child; she was born in the desert in Israel and had spent all of her years on the road with her mother. She could speak many languages. She was nearly ten years old, her natural grace seamed free of blockage so her pure spirit shined very noticeably.

Sky blue told me they had been in the north, I think she said Canada or Washington state. She had been involved in a weather control battle with a sorcerer who liked rain. She explained that it was too consuming, to use her energy in the fight for sunshine and decided instead to journey to a sunny land, that is the reason they were on their way south, I agreed her energy might be better spent on other projects.

My world view was a work in progress, Despite the fact that many of my own experiences cannot be explained with traditional science, I was still highly skeptical when I heard others say such things. I tried to keep an open mind, and leave that door open, but would not assume what they were saying was actual.

I led a very spontaneous life and was prone to following my spirit. I didn't always understand the designs of my spirit, but I trusted that it did have a design, and this was part of it. I knew something was intended for me, "But what? "I was willing and curios enough to find out.

Later in life I grew tired of people who I deemed ‘crazy”, but at the time I was more accepting of people whose trains were a little of track. I myself lived only obscurely within the bounds of normal society. I defiantly did not have roots there.

I was like Jonathan Livingston Seagull, I had ideals that I wanted to achieve, but I lived in a world full of people doing the things that people do. Most of which I could not relate to. Though I felt secure on my path, it did traverse through a immense and largely unknown world that was full of actual danger. I may have wished for a different world, but my wishes did not make bad people disappear. The world had rules that favored the home team, visiting strangers were often treated as threats.

So, when my path crossed other strangers such as this, it was a welcome disruption. Even a solitary bird as myself, sometimes enjoys company. We struck up some kind of kinship.

One thing we had in common was the lack of a schedule. After we got some food at the Natural food store, we walked to a nearby park where we spent the day talking. They seemed surprised to meet me. Surprised that I had the time for them, the little girl Melody seemed glad to rest, and she seemed glad to have someone to talk with besides her mother. I also found them to be interesting, as we all shared storied of our adventures. They also had visited many communes and were also dissatisfied with them. In an odd way we had another commonality, were all on our way somewhere unknown. We also knew we would not stay and join the club. Our spirits refused to pay the dues.

I had the feeling it had been sometime since they met someone who they could relate to.

Anything good I say about Melody is not enough and would be an understatement She was an awesome being.

I soon realized that we were not soon going our separate ways. They seemed to feel as I did that something was going on here. We hung out together for the next few weeks. We were an interesting trio. I with my long scraggly hair and beard, and they with their clothed that looked like they were taken from a bible story. When people looked at us, they got an eye full. That bothered me a bit, but the intrigue of letting something that was meant to be, be, was stronger.

Sky Blue was a strange woman, and she had her kind of own logic. for example, one evening I was bringing them to one of my sleeping places. As I said in the beginning, I didn't sleep in the same place very often, but I did know quite a few places where we could sleep and would be unnoticed. This place was a small strip of land that was between several residential properties, I think there was a pipe buried there and that's why no one owned it. To get to my spot you did have to go through a small gate.

It was a good place to sleep for several reasons, seldom if ever did anyone pass there. it was not visible from any house, it had a great view from fairly high on a hillside, there was a tree that seemed to welcome my company and also gave a little shade from the morning sun, it was not necessary to cross anyone's property to get there, and very importantly there was no barking dogs.

It was accessible from some public stairs that connected two hillside streets. It was accessible through an unlocked gate that someone in the past put there for unknown reasons.

Anyway, I was bringing them there. Sky Blue hesitated when we got to the gate. She refused to go through it. As an explanation she said that she didn’t pass X’s I had no idea what she meant until she pointed to the gate. In its construction there was an X. She interpreted it as a sign that she should not go there. It took some convincing on my part to get her past this “superstition”. I reasoned that if we stepped over it it could just as well serve as protection. I added that that the fact that it was not locked and that it was on free swinging hinges was perhaps a sign of welcome. It worked, she reluctantly passed, and we slept there that night and several other nights as well without any problems.

Every decision we makes affects the rest of our lives, that includes all of our actions. Some decisions we make turn out to be true turning points in our lives. This type of decisions is associated with a strong emotion that rises from the core of our being. That part of our being has access to more information than our normal waking self. We constantly receive this information, in the form of intuition, and it is often mistaken for our own thoughts and disregarded. It is not always easy to distinguish the difference but with careful scrutiny the associated feelings can be learned. If one is distracted, doubt can creep in. Doubt is ugly, but choices still have to be made.

Sky and Melody sort of attached themselves to me. I wasn’t sure I liked it. I was used to being alone. I was not used to being responsible for others. I was not a rebel, but I did have the tendencies of a loner. A loner traveler on my way to unknown destinations. I kept in mind that our paths had crossed for a reason, but I still didn’t know what that reason was.

Part of the strategy I lived by, entailed being inconspicuous. But with these two I felt very conspicuous. One night we went into a local pizzeria, and of course the only thing she would eat, was a salad, and of course Blue Sky removed all the croutons because they were white bread, or they were fried, or something like that. As we waited for our food Melody danced around the restaurant. It was actually very beautiful the way she danced around the restaurant, but as I said I did not like drawing attention, and I was sure we were going to be asked to leave. That never happened and in fact they actually turned on the indoor fire pit so she could dance around it.

I have always been a little leery of fanatics and extreme people, they seemed to me a little full of themselves,

And behaved as if they could change the world. I was more interested in avoiding predators and exploring the nature of awareness, and perception. My strategy of avoiding predators by not being noticed was in danger of collapse withe these two, but I let it ride and time passed.

On one of the earlier days that they were with me, there came a rather strong storm. I normally like storms and knew plenty of ways of staying dry, by myself, but I did not know what to do with them. We ended up going to my sister's house and she let us stay there till the storm passed. I did not like imposing myself on the people I knew. I had my lifestyle and enjoyed it. They had theirs's. People worked hard for what they had, and I did not like taking advantage of it, but we stayed the night and much of the next day, which turned out to be Melody’s birthday, her tenth. It was interesting to see melody inside. She was fascinated by the television set. I had the feeling she had not seen much TV. I think she wondered if her life on the road was making her miss out on a normal life. Perhaps she was just taking advantage of the situation and getting her eyes full. Her mother though was restless and growing eager for the southern sun. She invited me to join them on their journey south.

I had a system for making decisions. It basically entailed going with my gut. I would consider a scenario and pay close attention to what feelings arise. I did that in this case, and felt better about not joining them, than I did about going with them. Therefore, my decision was made. I would not be joining them on their journey south. I did however see them off and hitchhiked with them to Nogales Arizona. I gave them the little money I had and wished them well. I definitely got one of those “Turning Point “sensations when we said goodbye. I am not inclined to regret my decisions. I trust them, and anyway there is no use in pondering about what might have been. Still, I am certain that the course of my life changed or would have changed with that decision.

After we parted, I spent some time alone in the desert. Then I went on with some also interesting but unrelated adventures. I will share those separately, because this story is not over…..

…… Several months later I Once again visited that same Pizza restaurant that I had visited with Melody and Sky blue, this time I was alone, enjoying some pizza and as usual writing poetry. The waiter seemed to recognize me, and asked if I was the guy who had been there with those two strange people. I hesitated a moment, wondering if he had something negative to say, but I confirmed that I was here with them. He surprised me by telling me that he was strangely moved by the memory of the little girls dancing. He mentioned that though it was a short encounter, that he often thought about it, and perhaps it was the most beautiful experience of his life. I thanked him for sharing, and agreed that they did indeed provoke feelings in those they encountered……

…..more moths passed unrelated to this tale….

….. I had headed south with the intention of finding some nice jungles to meditate in. And eventually I found myself in Guatemala, I had recently arrived in the village of San Pedro, located on the Lake.

Atitlan, Atitlan is a beautiful lake, surrounded on three sides by volcanoes, and ringed with small villages, named after the Apostles. Many rivers flowed into this lake, but none flowed out, the water was crystal clear. You could see 300 feet deep in moonlight. There were no roads around this lake and the villages were accessed by boat. The boats only came twice a week. It was an event to go down to the dock on boat day to see who was arriving and who was leaving.

On this particular boat day, I woke up before dawn, and got the idea to watch the sun rise over the lake. I made my way along a dark jungle trail up to a vantage point I had been to before. Despite that it was a tropical place, there was a coolness in the air. I got to my spot and made myself comfortable. there was already light appearing in the east. I felt I was a partner with the forces that guide me. I felt I was part of the jungle and not just in it. gradually the distant mountains became visible. the smell of fresh leaves, mixed with the sounds of the first birds. then the color green became apparent, then dominant. Patches of fog lingered on the water. The fog was dissipating into the increasingly blue water. It was a most splendid moment.

.I was acknowledging to myself my good fortune to be a witness to such beauty, when I noticed a figure, on a rock that was protruding from the lake. there was actually someone standing on a boulder that protruded from the lagoon below me. This person was wet and standing very still and erect. arms held slightly out with the palms facing the sun, as if in a greeting. I became fixated on this figure as steam seemed to evaporate away as the first rays of the sun were now shining. I was almost stunned with awe, as this person stood motionless far a seemingly long time. I could see that it was a child and was dressed in some sort of robe. The child suddenly turned, dove into the water and swam to a shore, that was slightly out of my view.

My trance was broken by a desire to see who that person was. I couldn’t go directly down to the lake, because of the density of the jungle. I had to go around a small hill and approach from the other side. As I got near to where I thought it was, I realized there was a sort of encampment there, A hippy encampment. There were several small hut structures, a few tents and there at a campfire was a wet little girl. There were several other people sitting on the ground around the small fire. I joined them at the fire and talked with her and the others, she was funny and interesting, and she said she knew me. She seemed familiar but I couldn't make the connection. She thought I was someone she had met on a bus a few months earlier, but it wasn’t me. Then at the same moment we recognized each other,,,,She was Melody. She said she still had 5 dollars left of the money I gave them. We talked a little while and I asked where her mother Sky Blue was. She told me she had a new name now, but I don’t remember what it was. She took me a little way down the beach, and there was Sky-blue,,, meditating in a weird way. She was sitting cross legged in front of a very small flame less fire. She was Humming the sound of “E”,,,in a kind of a HI pitch EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

She could sure maintain a long exhale, she repeated this for a while before she noticed we were there, after we greeted, she wanted to add wood to her little fire, but before she did that, she thoroughly inspected each stick for any greenness and any signs of observable life. She didn’t want to kill anything she didn’t have to.

She said they had been living off the fruits and the kindness of others. As before we ended up spending a few days together, sharing stories of our recent adventures. I was more at ease with them this time, as I was not responsible for them, and we were not so conspicuous in a hippy camp. It wasn’t long though before my mixed feelings reappeared. Although many of her ideas were interesting, many of them had a religious bent to them. I was very interested in out of the ordinary phenomena, but I was not attracted to religious ritual and dogma.

A few days later Melody had a birthday, Her eleventh. I realized then that it had been exactly one year, and then I realized further, that the morning I saw Melody on the lake was exactly one year to the day, from the day we first met, and again it was at the moment of sunrise. Even for me that was pretty amazing to think about.

In the next days, Blue-sky did a lot of meditation. She also did a lot of explaining about her world view to me. It was interesting but did not strike a chord with me. I had a different alignment. She announced to me that she felt that it was fate, that we had met again and, that she had some knowledge that she wanted to pass on to me. She said that when a student is ready the teacher appears. I replied that it is also true that a student should be drawn towards the teacher. That may or not be true at all, but that's how I felt. We soon went our separate ways again. I had only a momentary vague felling of curiosity about the path I didn't take. Then it faded altogether. I hope, however that my life is long enough to cross paths with them again.